Gone in a FLASH
Feeling BLUE after Christmas – You’re not alone
Perhaps you were looking forward to Christmas.
Some time off.
A bit of a break.
A rest.
Maybe “quality time” with special people in your life.
Perhaps it didn’t work out the way you thought?
When time with family leaves you feeling something must be wrong with you
It doesn’t take much, does it?
A sarcastic comment is made or your feelings being dismissed. Then you’re right back to that moment when you’re overwhelmed, feeling irritated and snapping.
Do you find yourself playing old family roles or having to shrink, perform or stay silent to keep the peace?
Being around family who don’t truly see you or respect you, can leave you exhausted and irritable.
Even though you’re an adult now, and you have done a lot of work on yourself, being back in an old environment just flips a switch.
You find yourself asking “what’s wrong with me?”.
After Christmas: When the Quiet Brings Up Trauma Feelings
For many people, the hardest part of Christmas doesn’t happen on the day itself — it comes after.
When the noise fades and the house goes quiet, the decorations have come down, the messages have stopped, the feelings we held back rise to the surface.
When all distractions are gone, and the expectations lifted, there is space – where memories, grief, old wounds can speak.
You might notice:
- A sudden drop in mood or energy
- Feelings of loneliness or grief
- Irritability, tearfulness, or shutdown
- Anxiety about the year ahead
- A sense of “now what?” emptiness
This is often when your body feels safe enough to release what it is carrying.
If this sounds like you – its revealing what was already there. Nothing about these feelings means you’ve failed the holiday or you’re broken.
It means you’ve endured, you’ve adapted and your nervous system is asking for gentleness.
The Emotional Hangover of the Holidays
Even when Christmas was “fine,” it can still be emotionally taxing.
You can love your family but still find them ….. exhausting.
You don’t need dramatic events for trauma to surface — subtle reminders of past relationships, unmet needs, or old family roles can quietly awaken, and leave a lasting impact.
After Christmas, many people experience:
- Grief for what wasn’t repaired or acknowledged
- Relief mixed with guilt
- Disappointment that things didn’t feel different
- Sadness about endings — of the holiday, of hope, of connection
Conflicting emotions can coexist. Relief does not cancel grief. Sadness does not erase gratitude.
And if it’s all feeling heavier than you’d expect.
Sometimes talking it through with someone outside the family web can make a huge difference.
When the World Moves On but You Don’t Feel Ready
You may feel pressure to “get back to normal” quickly – return to work, plan for the New Year, be motivated and positive.
Ask yourself “is this what I need right now?”.
Trauma healing is not linear, and it doesn’t follow the calendar. The days after Christmas may call for slowness not productivity.
Remember you’re allowed to protect your peace
You’re allowed to want more from your downtime than just survival with a smile.
You’re allowed to say “that didn’t feel great” and use that knowledge to shape what happens next.
Gentle Ways to Support Yourself After Christmas
Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” try asking, “What do I need right now?”
Some supportive practices include:
- Allowing rest without explaining or justifying it
- Grounding your body with warmth, movement, or nature
- Naming emotions rather than analyzing them
- Reducing social pressure as you transition back
- Maintaining routines that feel safe and predictable
Small, consistent care can help your nervous system settle.
A Quiet Invitation
If the days after Christmas you feel heavy, restless or on edge, consider this a time to:
- Acknowledge what surfaced
- Grieve what remains unresolved
- Reconnect with your inner needs
- Seek support if emotions feel too big to hold alone
You don’t have to rush toward resolution. Awareness itself is healing.
Feeling unsettled after Christmas does not mean you failed the holidays.
It means you’re human — and possibly healing.
Be patient with yourself in this quieter space. Something important is unfolding.
If This Resonated, Therapy Might Be A Helpful Next Step
If you are finding it hard to untangle how you are feeling after the holidays – you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Sometimes even a few sessions is all you need to help you make you feel more grounded
You don’t need to know exactly what to say, just send me a message and we can figure it out together.
The FLASH Technique – for most distressing memories
Sometimes talking about difficult memories can be really difficulties. The emotions can be so close and so overwhelming.
The FLASH technique can be a helpful way to reduce distress without going deeply into the content of the memory.
FLASH works by briefly shifting attention to something positive, neutral, or comforting, allowing the nervous system to settle.
You do not need to focus on the distressing memory or feeling for this to be helpful.
FLASH is about creating distance and relief, not re-experiencing.
If this resonates with you please feel free to contact me.